Angry writer criticizes remakes of being unworthy of original flicks

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The plight of remakes.

Last weekend the screens were assaulted by not one but two remakes of popular films of old.

The classic movie victims this time being “The Thing” and “Footloose.”

As much as I could go on about how these torrent of remakes have accosted theatergoers for the last decade, it is simply an affirmation of the death of new ideas in Hollywood.

I refuse to take pot shots.

I can play Devil’s advocate and see the appeal.

In this economic state with an industry where cheap means $20 million, taking risks on new intellectual properties are only for the most cocksure, so better to simply commit intellectual grave robbery and remix a classic with today’s technology and pop music.

Most remakes are awful but every now and then a film comes along that validates the idea of a remake such as 1999’s “The Mummy” or 2004’s “Dawn of the Dead,” the lesson to be learned by these films is the idea of making the same movie but different — to draw inspiration from the original but go down avenues not covered before.

This is, sadly, something apparently lost to most film studios and I don’t think we will see an end to it.

NO REMAKES PLEASE

Consider this a list of films that, under no circumstance, should ever be remade:

1. “Star Wars,” episodes 4-6

2. “Jaws” (The film’s success was rooted in troubled production.)

3. “Jurassic Park” (At 18-years old, it still looks better than some films out today.)

4. “The Godfather” (Save for the third in the series, film studios could only go up with a remake of that particular one.)

5. “Psycho” (Oops too late…)