What’s wrong with people? : Irrelevant Competitors

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We live in a dog-eat-dog world.
People with a need to feel important and a desire to achieve more than those around them surround us. It’s competition. It’s survival of the fittest.
Among these people are a group  we call “one-uppers.”
A “one-upper” is an extremely annoying and rude being who has seen, done or heard the exact same things as you – only better simply because they have declared this to be true.
These people actually think they’re better than you because you paid $22.50 for a pair of jeans at the store last week and they only paid $22.
Trust me I know what you’re thinking.
Idiots.
Yes, but pretend that they’re smart so they can feel better about themselves. And so that you can enjoy your day quietly making fun of their stupidity.
We all have at least one, if not several, of these annoying creatures in our lives.
Fear not, because like the know-it-all, the one-upper can be dealt with (without getting jail time).
Graduation is approaching and this is the prime season to spot a one-upper. Don’t be fooled by their usually cool demeanor because these things are ruthless.
My favorite one-upper is the parental type.
You know the one: “My Susie took all AP classes and just graduated with honors and got offered several scholarships and an internship and five job offers. What about your kid?”
Really lady?
Yes, because we really want to try to compete with that.
Not.
Another one-upper that’s easy to spot is the sick one. You have the flu? I’ve had it twice this year. You have a stomach ache? I have a terminal illness.
No sympathy, just competition. And they enjoy it.
It’s sick really, how desperate everyone has become to outdo someone else.
And don’t even think about denying it because you (yes, you reading this column) have done it to. I know you have.
I know because I’m just as guilty — probably even worse (see what I did there).
But in all honesty try to pipe down the next time you feel the urge to one-up someone.
Chances are they could care less what your supposed bigger problem is because they want to talk to you about theirs.
What’s wrong with people?

This is Haley Pitto’s final column as a staff writer for The Collegian. She’ll attend Seattle Pacific University in Washington this fall. To keep up with her rants and raves, visit haleypitto.wordpress.com                                                                                                            or check back in future issues of The Collegian for guest columns.