It’s not you, it’s us.
Although it’s been 20 years since your commercialization — basically you’re as old as many of us reading this — and although this seasonally co-dependent relationship has lasted 13 years, I think it’s time to do like Brangelina and end it. Don’t get me wrong, seeing PSLs every Fall is still a delight, but I don’t think that we have the same enthusiasm we used to feel with global warming and new combinations.
At your peak in 2016, we were bewildered by your popularity and how your experience became many yoga pants and faux glass wearing girl’s identities. Some thought your mainstream appearance was basic and annoying, but most enjoyed it.
At first, we didn’t know better, and we succumbed to the cult of PSL. But as we grew more knowledgeable, we realized we could not live under the control of your vanity. As for me, the more I got into coffee, the more I grew to learn who you really are. Our days are over PSL or should we call you by your identity, ALLSPICE, NUTMEG, CINNAMON AND CLOVE?!
As it turns out, you are the product of an almighty creator whose popularity helped your reputation: Starbucks. Although, according to Food and Wine Magazine, pumpkin recipes have been around since the 1780s and pumpkin spice has been used in American cuisine since the 1930s, the PSL was only created 20 years ago. After serious experimentation Starbucks premiered your arrival. I am very glad that you and I met at the time we did because up until 2015, actual pumpkin wasn’t used in PSLs! We loved the pumpkin Frappuccino; but we can’t say that it was love at first sip upon meeting you. It took years to wear me down to FINALLY try.
I don’t consider myself a coffee connoisseur, but I think we could do better than you. Although not everyone seems to think we can move on and that you are still pertinent to the season.
“Pumpkin spice will live forever!” exclaimed third-year Delta student, Priscilla Martinez.
Regardless of how many years pass by you are still brought out every Fall. The concepts of pumpkin spice and PSLs are never-ending thanks to the genius PR and marketing skills at Starbucks. They are now tradition and culture to us in the United States and all over the world.
But, really the jacket? Starbucks’ vain attempt to grasp relevancy for PSLs is futile and weak considering how warm Fall has been this year for such a heavy jacket.
You were once grand; your break from hibernation used to mark the beginning of what in my opinion is the best season of all. Now, we have new combinations that represent what you used to.
“They’ve been gravitating more towards the pumpkin chai,” commenced seasoned Java Jitters/ Starbucks Barista, Giselle Ortiz. Our tastes have matured, it’s time for a break up.
As Fall marks the death of summer and so it does for this relationship. It is the expected end of an era. But who knows? Maybe there will be a revival, or I am too melodramatic at this time? Regardless, we have more to explore and need to open our doors to different flavors or new ways to incorporate it, which I do not blame you for.
Alas, we thank you for the sweet moments and superiority we all felt in relishing your unique, aromatic nectar and we bid you goodbye.
