T
he concept of companionship in dating has always been vague and disillusioned commitment.
This is largely due to miscommunication and pre-established expectations in a partner.
Chivalry demands in a committed relationship build tensions between couples.
By definition, chivalry pertains to the courteous acts of men to women in a romantic relationship.
Examples include holding the door open, offering jackets when the female is cold, and the sidewalk rule of the male being closer to the street to protect women.
Overall, it was essentially a rulebook to help young men bring structure to a relationship by behaving in a respectful manner as a gentleman.
Yet, recent discussions show there are opposing stances on whether chivalry is dead and its significance in relationships.
Luna Siliverdis, a second-year Delta student, said chivalry has become an unfollowed practice as rudeness in people grows, which can be tied to the acceptance of societal norms.
“For the most part, people now just wanna be this big deal and then forget about chivalry along the way. I think it was an illusion that society portrayed because it’s like the men are stronger and women are weaker. But part of it is that men are supposed to be respectful and do all this stuff for the lady, but the woman is not supposed to,” Siliverdis said.
She reassured her stance as a proponent of equality by not holding men to a standard that she is not ready to fulfill herself.
Broader definitions include acts of honor and generosity on both sides of a relationship, highlighting a less-discussed side to the concept.
She said if we were to flip the conversation from the chivalry of men to that of women, the expectations would potentially become more demanding.
Such acts of courtesy include more than small gestures of politeness, such as staying at home, cooking and cleaning.
Male students did struggle with conceiving acts of chivalry on the woman’s end, but they didn’t doubt gestures would likewise be as demanding.
Kieth Lam, a second-year Delta Student, said he is a proponent of chivalrous gestures, declaring their significance in building awareness to mutual respect.
“I’m just that kind of person that I will just pay for the first date. I don’t want to quarrel with chivalry because, a lot of times, they’re just good gestures,” Lam said.
He understands the argument for excessive responsibilities for men, he also does not mind them since they help and provide joy.
Another aspect brought to the topic was social media’s role in modern dating.
Benjamin Zoren Aclar, a second-year Delta student, said social media has played a role in creating a false perception of reality that influences the younger and current generations.
“I feel like it’s almost been made into like a competition between two people in a relationship. Who makes more money, who can do this, who can do that? Not really like what can we do as two people,” Aclar said.
Aclar believes social media has the ability to bring exposure to chivalry and, in an optimistic outcome, have a positive influence. The promotion of promiscuous lifestyles devoid of sincerity continues and is likely not to change.
In the end, most appear to disagree on the significance of well-behaved gestures.
Successful relationships are regarded to require a level of communication and loyalty to develop authenticity.
But it seems our opposing acceptance stances will continue disagreements and comparisons to illusionary notions.
