Writer urges ‘morons’ to slow down in campus parking lots


Listen up Delta College staff and students driving motorized vehicles to campus: It’s time to review the Department of Motor Vehicles handbook again.

If you’re speeding because you are running late, leave home earlier.

To the ones guilty of going 20 mph over the speed limit near the child development center: will you please think of the children?

Staff and students who use mobility devices such as wheelchairs also bring their height down to about the four-foot level.

Speeding makes it harder to see these individuals.

Slow down you morons. Distractions are another concern. Is that cell phone super glued to your head?

Hey you, yes you, the one texting and gaming.

Candy Crush can wait. You’re on level 85? Give it a break.

Put the phone down and drive.

Stop signs on campus are meant to stop vehicles before proceeding further.

That means a complete stop. If you want a California roll, get yourself some sushi.

To the tailgaters: There’s a bumper sticker that compares you to hemorrhoids. Perhaps following the suggestion of said bumper sticker would do you some good.

Delta College has a bus stop on campus for San Joaquin RTD and Medical Transport Vehicles.

These buses need room. They are a lot bigger than your Nissan.

Park in a stall and wait for your passenger instead of lingering near the bus zone.

Also: Automakers install turn signals on all vehicles. It’s been standard for many years.

So let’s start using them before you make a turn, people.

Turn down that radio, no one wants to feel the beat of Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball” or the Kanye West’s “Bound 2.”

If your vehicle is a diesel, turn it off. Nobody wants to breath those emissions in. You guys are the reason for the no idling laws in California.

To the ones who park in the handicap parking stalls without a placard: You better have a disability.

Having to go like a racehorse isn’t a disability … unless you have ridiculously small kidneys and have medical proof.

To the ones who keep circling the C-1 and L-1 parking lots not once but multiple times, trying to find a parking spot.

Throw in the white towel.

There are many other parking lots on campus and many other places to park. That walking might do you some good too.

Speaking of walking, if you have to walk far to get to class, you might want to adjust your pants so they don’t trip you.

If you don’t have time to get a handbook from the DMV, let some- one throw one at your head.

Perhaps the shock absorption from the book will educate you to not be a moron on the road.