Youngsters take over campus


I once worked at a church day camp. is was a bad idea for two reasons I’m an atheist, and I really hate children.

Children are selfish, loud, entitled and they cry at the drop of a hat.

Whenever they’re brought on tours of the campus problems follow in their wake. ere is never any parking, they are loud and disruptive and these tours can be hard to navigate around.

They’re like a dense school of fish that don’t respect personal space.

With 32 tours of the campus in March alone, the children are not an uncommon sight at Delta.

Unfortunately, I feel I am alone in my vitriol.

Perhaps I am too harsh on the tykes. I asked other people attending Delta

what they thought. I was met with either apathy or a surprising acceptance of the tiny invaders.

Delta student Teagan Graybill said it’s necessary to get them interested in the college.

A similar sentiment was shared by another student, Natalie Fagundies.

“I think their presence here is pretty important for them being exposed to it,” she said.

Le Phan is the Student and Community Outreach Manager of the Marketing, Communications, and Outreach Department.

She said these tours really let the students know college is an achievable goal and community college is an affordable option.

“It gives us the opportunity to show the broad range of what education can be and shows them all the possibilities,”said Phan.

These were valid points. Children are in a growing phase where they learn how to be the adults of tomorrow.

Most people are jerks or idiots. Children aren’t exempt from this, but we must put up with them because some of them grow up to be decent upstanding folk. Children are annoying during this larval stage, but we need to set them up for success.

I find myself comparing the human race to the harsh vacuum of space.

Most of it is cold, suffocating and full of nothing particularly interesting.

Children are like a solar system’s Goldilocks Zone.

These habitable zones are largely

wrought with the same problems found in the rest of space and produce predominantly dead planets such as Mars; wastes of space that contribute nothing besides making the lines longer at banks and grocery stores.

Occasionally, we get a planet like Earth that sustains life.

Only here do we get joy, kindness and beings capable of appreciating the things that make life worthwhile. These are the intelligent and ethical people that these children may become.

No matter how rare these lively planets are, their existence justifies the entirety of the mostly empty universe.

I use a space metaphor because I can’t think of a better analogy for what I personally think of children than Ridley Scott’s movie Alien.