The internet has been a great many things in it’s relatively brief existence, from a great informational equalizer to the probable cause of your uncle’s next rant about vaccines.

However across all its many faces, one is almost universally understood to be its true form. The internet is obsessed with animals — usually cute ones, but that’s not exactly a prerequisite.

So it’s not exactly shocking that not one but two adorable baby animals have enraptured the internet at large over the past few weeks.

Moo Deng, a terribly tiny baby hippo, and Pesto, a preposterously large baby penguin, both garnering a great deal of acclaim — two simultaneous meteoric rises that prove the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Moo Deng, whose name means “bouncy pork/pig,” was born at the Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Thailand in July of this year. Her name was chosen via an online poll with two of her siblings being named Moo Tun (stewed pork) and Moo Waan (sweet pork).

The tiny hippo immediately stood out due to her bountiful energy and wanton, if ineffective, aggression towards her handler.

A video posted by Khao Kheow Open zoo posted on X on Sept. 26 shows the rising star trying to bite the leg of a handler with a caption translating to “don’t touch me, human.”

“Moo Deng, specifically, even in comparison to her siblings, is really bouncy and really feisty,” said Yammi Sarracino, who translated the online poll that decided Moo Deng’s name, in an interview with the New Yorker.

The tiny hippo’s big personality might be the reason she’s gaining such international fame, but across the sea in Melbourne there is a potential rival.

Pesto the penguin, unlike Moo Deng, is not big in terms of personality — he is simply big. 

While he was only born in January he is already standing at an impressive 90 centimeters (35.43 inches) and weighing nearly 22.5 kilograms (50 pounds).

“Pesto gets at least four feeds a day, and he eats anywhere from 25 to 32 fish in a day,” said Jacinta Early, the education supervisor at SEA LIFE Melbourne aquarium, in a TikTok video posted by @sbsnews_au.

“He just wants more snacks really,” said Early in the TikTok when asked about how fame had affected Pesto.

Both Moo Deng and Pesto are absolute sensations but one must wonder about the secret to their success, what could be the secret to their success? Well science may have the answer.

“Babies kind of jump to the front of the queue”, reads a 2016 article by Morten L. Kringelbach, Alan Stein, and Eloise Stark published in “The Conversation,” a publication that publishes academic content edited by journalists.

“Research has shown that we typically feel affection for animals with juvenile features,” the article highlights an almost hardwired response the brain has to cuteness, leading to them drawing our focus very easily. “They get ahead of everything else going on in our minds, which makes them difficult to ignore.” 

All signs point to the fact that being cute simply makes life a hell of a lot easier, so we at the collegian strongly advise against biting any zookeepers or gorging yourself on large quantities of fish. It’s unlikely you’ll get a pass like these two.